The inner judge and censor
Occasionally you may detect the inner voice of your normally hidden judge/censor: the internal put-downs that undermine your confidence. I recall when I was making a 45-minute commute on a lightly-trafficked road in the morning, I could detect internal negative comments. I used to shout (alone in the car), “Shut up!” to that little voice—and to my surprise, it tended to work. Lately, I’ve not had the problem—it may have been a symptom or cause of depression, from which I no longer suffer (so far as I can tell).
I thought of that on reading this post in Lifehack.org. Probably “Oh, really?” is a better response to the voice (though “Shut up!” worked pretty well). They have a good list, which begins:
To bring choice, openness, and inquiry back into your reality try adding the challenge “oh really?” to these 29 worn out perspectives (or your own) and turn up the heat on those victim-making, life-killing, soul-sucking, war-making phrases that have been sapping your fulfillment.
1. I don’t have the time.
2. Everything on my to-do list is important and essential.
3. I can’t quit. If I do, everything will fall apart.
4. If I take time off, I’ll lose my game.
5. Nobody will hire me, I’m too old.
6. You’re supposed to get married and then have the baby.
7. Get your diploma, go to college, get a master’s, get married, get a career, have a family, grow old, die.
8. I need an MFA to get published.
(Click the link for the full post of undermining phrases.)
I will again mention the excellent book by Joanna Field, A Life of One’s Own, about her own development as a person and how she detected the internal voices, along with various techniques she used to stay open to daily experience. It’s such an excellent book—give it a go.