Later On

A blog written for those whose interests more or less match mine.

Shaving poetry

with 2 comments

The writer of the following is being shy, so no names. It wasn’t I, for sure. A great little poem:

To His Dull Gillette
(With apologies to Andrew Marvell)

Had we but foam enough, and time,
This dullness, mach3, were no crime.
I might stand here and think which way,
To lubricate your wretched shave;
Thou by my bloodied sink abrade,
My sideburns ragged, my cheekbones flayed.
Of Feathers would I fantasize,
Smooth, close shaves, not realized.
And I should, if I please, dispose,
‘Til my Gillette collection grows.
My shave accoutrements expand,
Vaster than Achims’s and more grand.
A dozen Fatboys sit uncleaned,
The Visa’s maxed, my wife is steamed.
That bargain Superspeed? I’ve learned,
Some ebay vendors leave you burned.
Ten cents, I crowed, for every blade,
This hobby’s cheap, it’s money saved!
But, I’m compulsive, I collect,
I’m rather off in that respect.

But in my heart, I always know,
Like bikes, CDs, tube audio,
These things get pricey, they occupy,
My office shelves all piled high.
A close shave is no more the point,
My intent is to fill the joint.
My echoing song “It’s an investment!”
My wife’s a skeptic, though e’er indulgent.
She rolls her eyes, I freely chatter,
A dull disourse: The ideal lather.
The head’s a fine and private place,
But must you detail every shave?

Now therefore, when the AM stubble
Falls from my chin, I mustn’t trouble,
And razor burn, severe, transpires,
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let me shave me, while I can
A loathsome task for modern man,
Rather for some, this curious pleasure,
I’ll take an hour, at my leisure.
Let me jam all my gear, and all
My blades into one shelf, one wall;
Confine my talk to forum natter,
And spare my wife my dreadful patter.
Thus, though I cannot make my shave
Butt smooth, yet I’ll contain my rave.

Written by Leisureguy

21 August 2008 at 10:04 am

Posted in Shaving

2 Responses

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  1. I love this! Andrew Marvell would approve too I think.

    Like

    Laurel

    21 August 2008 at 10:45 am

  2. Priceless.

    Like

    Sorghum Crow

    21 August 2008 at 12:20 pm


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