Harvard psychologists identify 5 things done by parents who raise “good kids”
A very interesting article by Simon Segal in CuriousMindMagazine.com:
Times have changed greatly and with new times come new habits, sets of behavior and attitudes that seem very different from the ones we were used to when we were kids.
Today’s generations are all geared up with the newest technology that seems to distract them from the need to go out and play, socialize in the ways we used to or just spend time having fun.
All these changes have brought a great challenge to parents who, if you ask a kid, weren’t fortunate enough to have the benefits of today’s modern technology.
The challenges vary in many ways, but the main things is that today’s parents raise their children way more differently than they were raised and the outcome of those parents’ care is the greatest challenge.
Will my kid learn to be a complete person, the one who pushes forward and a person who can bond and communicate with others freely and openly.
Every parent asks the same questions: Am I missing something? Am I doing everything right? Will my child succeed in life?
Psychologists at Harvard University have thought of the same questions and have found that there are several elements that are still very important and basic. The key to upbringing a well-adjusted child in these changing times is not as complicated as you may think.
These are the 5 secrets to raising a good kid, according to Harvard psychologists
1 – SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN
It’s not enough just to be physically around your kid – you need to be with them completely. This means that no Xbox console or new iPhone can replace the bonding that the child truly needs. By communicating with them openly, listening carefully and doing the things they like together, your child will not only love you more, but will also learn how to be a considerate and caring person.
This is the foundation of it all. Your kid would very much prefer (above everything else) having a real person to talk to and to share ideas and experiences with, even if they may not seem aware of it.
Ask them how their day was, listen carefully and discuss the dilemmas they may have in their head – be careful not to ‘dogmatize’ lessons from your experiences though, they need to experience these things through their own perspective. We’ll talk about this later in this article.
See what their favorite things are and try to learn from them how to play the games they like – they would enjoy sharing their ‘fun’ with you!
Read them a book before bed (or do it together during the day if they are in the mood for it). Just be around them completely and acknowledge their emotions.
- Devote some time of your day to play their favorite games with them;
- Read them a bedtime story and enjoy the whole story with them;
- Ask them questions about their day, include questions like:
What was the best part of your day? The hardest part?
What’s something nice someone did for you today?
What’s something nice you did?
What’s something you learned today – in school or outside school?
2 – LET YOUR KIDS SEE A STRONG MORAL ROLE MODEL AND MENTOR IN YOU
Children learn the most from their surroundings especially at younger age. What you do is what they will become. This is why you should always pay close attention to your actions and be ready to admit faults and mistakes. Show your child that you care and that you are ready to accept your faults and work on them.
The result you wish to see in your child comes from the effort you put into yourself on this one. Practice fairness, honesty and care for yourself. This picture will teach your kid to do the same habits. The key to all this is to talk these things through with your child.
Acknowledging your mistakes, especially those that involve your kid in them, and speak openly about these things.
The aim is to show your child humility and honesty and with that they will feel a lot more comforted and encourage to look to a positive outcome in their problems.
Your child will look up to you only if you earn their trust and respect. Achieving this is showing your child that you are as human as you can be, and that comes with faults too.
- Admit your mistakes, apologize and show that you wish to make up for them and plan to avoid it next time.
- Tell your child how you plan to avoid that mistake and what you learned from it.
- Make time for yourself and re-energize yourself during that time. You will need that energy to be more attentive to and caring with others.
3 – TEACH YOUR CHILD TO . . .